


Pacing

by YunaDragneel



Category: Young Justice, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Child Abuse, Depression, Homophobia, Lots of Angst, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-14 10:03:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3406583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YunaDragneel/pseuds/YunaDragneel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before he even knew it he was already on a slower pace than anyone he knew. Think of it like this: whilst everyone was on a rollercoaster, he was on a minecart which could only get faster when things went down, but eventually he would come to a halt down in the bottom of a pit, not able to get back up without power. After all he didn’t have the strength to push it up anymore.</p><p>But then again: What if someone were to match his pace, pushing the minecart back up with him? Helping him climb the slope by adding their strength to his?</p><p>This is ridiculous to even believe… But seriously. What if?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mercy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song I used for inspiration was: Mercy - One Republic

 

The hours were dragging on whilst Wally sat in class. It wasn’t like it was boring… Physics was one of his favorite subjects, but yet he couldn’t get motivated. He felt like he was on the way down. Something he had often felt before. It was almost laughable how fast things could go south for him… but then again it was no laughing matter. Dread washed over him as he thought about the grade he got on his English test. His parents would be angry and he knew it. There was no way they wouldn’t be. He had always been better at science-y subjects and math… well kinda. Math was a struggle no matter who you were. But sometimes it was relatively easy. Though he wouldn’t admit that to his few friends.

It was weird knowing that their lives were so good, so functional and downright perfect. Only small quarrels with their parents, but at the end of the day things were good again. He didn’t like it, but he chose not to be a bitch about it. His own life could be… no scratch that. His life was bad enough. His friends didn’t even know about the things that happened in his home – well house is more precise because it certainly doesn’t feel like home. He swore no one would find out, but he believed that his friends still had a hunch of the things that happened. Or at least he wanted to believe it. Everybody was on their way up, to a happy future, whilst he was stuck in the monotony of his everyday life. And soon there would come a drop. Hopefully he had the strength to get back up.

 

School ended, making Wally run for his house. He had to get back on time or else someone was going to be angry. Well… no matter what his father would definitely come back from work, already slightly drunk, though he tried not to think of it. Something else popped into his mind. It was Friday. That meant he would be at Barry’s place for the weekend, able to escape his father’s anger. And he would be able to finally meet his friend from the internet – Richard Grayson-Wayne. Wally was really fond of the messages they shared even though they were miles apart. Richard - or Dick as he preferred to be called - lived in Gotham whilst Wally was in Central City, but this weekend Dick and his father Bruce were in CC thanks to Bruce having some business there. Dick had promised that they would meet up and Wally should show him the city, to which Wally immediately complied. They had been in contact over Skype for almost three months, regularly calling each week. Mostly their conversations were light and witty. Well, Dick mostly shot back some snide remarks and his sarcasm was fluent. But Wally didn’t mind. It was a lot of fun. Although… Wally was sure that Dick figured out something was wrong, though he never said so.

The redhead shook his head free from the depressing thoughts, returning home with a huge smile on his face, which fell when he noticed the car of his father in front of the door. Shit. Had he been really so slow today? Mostly he managed to arrive before his father only by a few minutes, but enough for him to not cross his way. But this time? This time he arrived only a few minutes later.

 

Upon entering the door he could already hear his father’s loud voice, shouting, _screaming_. It was obvious that he had a bad day at work, so Wally tried to sneak past the kitchen, failing when the front door slammed shut. He tensed when he felt the threatening presence of his father. Was it better to open his mouth and say something? Or should he keep quiet?

“Uhm… Hey Dad!” He waved a bit and smiled, trying to lift the mood. But it was probably better if he had kept quiet. The older man just growled something unintelligible and grabbed him by his collar.

“I’m too sober to deal with your goddamn bullshit kid. What did you get on your English test?” He asked right away, glaring even more dangerous. Wally shrunk a little and got the paper out of his bag. If he could, then he wouldn’t show him… but there was no way out. Rudolph took the paper and pushed Wally back, quickly flying his eyes over it. And with every second, his face darkened even more.

“What is this shit?! Are you too fucking dumb to even get a decent grade on a language you’ve spoken all your life?!” He drew his hand back and punched his son in the face, making him stumble and fall. His cheek stung badly and he could already feel a bit of blood flowing from his lips. It hurt. Wally wanted to get up again, but was kicked down by his father, letting out a small yelp of pain. The boy tried to search for his mom’s gaze, but she was nowhere to be found, apparently hiding in the kitchen. It was the first time Wally felt this betrayed…

“You’re gonna stay home and fucking study. Barry is a bad influence and I’m not gonna let him get the chance to even try and get you outta here!” When he spat the name Barry he gave Wally a forceful kick on his ribcage, making him gasp for air. Wally hated it. He hated the way his father blamed Barry for all of his grades. Barry understood him. He helped him. Supported him. More than his own father ever did. He knew he shouldn’t talk back, but he couldn’t stop himself. Barry was his role model, someone Wally respected a lot.

“You can blame me all you want,” he gasped, still out of air from the kick he had received, “But you’re not talking shit about Barry! He’d be a better father than you ever were!!” Wally knew it was a mistake. He knew he shouldn’t have done that. But now it was too late to take back the words he said. Rudolph screamed something at him that Wally barely understood from all the rage. But what he did understand was the kicks that were delivered. One to his stomach, one to his chest, one to his arm and another one to his leg. Rudolph stomped onto his son’s ankle, making him cry out in pain.

It hurt. It hurt. _It hurt._

 

After a few minutes of trying to drown out the pain, he found himself in his room again, lying on the cold ground. Great… now he was locked up in his own house… not able to go to Barry’s and not able to meet up with Dick. Sobs racked his body when every single bruise started to hurt. He didn’t want this. He wanted to see Barry. He wanted to meet up with Dick. Even if it was just for the weekend. Wally managed to sit up, breathless when the pain took his air away, and grabbed his phone. The first person he called was Barry. After three rings he picked up.

“Hey Wally! How are you doing kid?” His voice was cheerful as always. But Wally couldn’t return the cheerfulness. A few sobs managed to break loose, before he answered.

“Uncle Barry… I can’t come over today evening…” He whispered, still trying to keep his sobbing under control. Though it already sparked Barry’s worry.

“Kid are you alright? What happened?” He was concerned, his voice serious and like a father trying to help out a son. Barry was like a father. A father he never had.

“I had a fight with some guy and he got me a few bruises… Dad got mad and forbid me to go to your place for the weekend…” It was a lie. But that’s what he was best at, lying. How often had he lied to his friends about his bruises? About the abuse he faced at home? Too many times to count. But every damn time he told himself that everything was fine. And he tried to believe it even though he knew it wasn’t. Nothing was fine.

“Kid I don’t know what exactly happened, but I’m not going to let you stay at home. You said you were going to meet your friend Richard tomorrow right? I’m not gonna let you pass up on this, no matter what. I’m already on my way and I’ll be there in a flash okay?”

“But Uncle Barry… Dad is seriously mad and he won’t let me go outside. I can’t go out…”

“Kid, I’ll handle things with your father. I know he doesn’t like me, but I’ll make it happen. Don’t worry about it and get the things you need for the weekend! I heard it’s going to be sunny, so maybe you and Richard could go for a swim or something!” Wally chuckled a little at his uncle’s childishness. Though the big problem was getting his father to comply with letting him leave.

“Okay… thank you Uncle Barry.”

“Anytime, kid. I’ll be there in half an hour!” With this the call ended and Wally felt better. Knowing Barry he would surely find a way to make it happen. Wally managed to stumble to his feet, hissing in pain when he stepped onto his bad ankle. But he couldn’t let people on about how much pain he had, so he just started packing his things, stopping every few minutes because he was so out of breath from the kicks delivered to his ribcage. Hopefully nothing too bad had happened.

 

After half an hour there was a ring at the door and Wally went down the stairs to open the door, revealing Barry with a lopsided grin, which then turned into a bit of shock.

“Oh god Wally! What happened to your face? Your cheek is swollen…”

“Hi Uncle Barry,” Wally smiled a bit, but turned away, “I told you I had a fight with this one guy…” Barry just nodded and pulled Wally into a hug, to which Wally flinched barely noticeable.

“Wally’s not going to your place this weekend, _Barry_ ,” Rudolph growled from the kitchen door, glaring at his brother-in-law. Wally immediately pulled away from Barry’s hug and stepped to the side, his hands shaking a little when he heard his father’s voice.

“Why not? It’s no good if he’s cooped up in here. It will do him some good to get outside every weekend. Iris was really looking forward to seeing him and I can’t disappoint my wife, right?” Barry was being polite, but there was a bit of a tense undertone in his voice. He figured something wasn’t alright. He knew Wally too well and knew that he very rarely got into fights, if ever. Barry did have his suspicions but didn’t dare to voice them. Things were already bad and he couldn’t afford them to get any worse.

“Rudy let him go to Barry’s place. The fight wasn’t his fault and I’m sure he feels bad enough already!” Mary stepped in from the kitchen, smiling at Barry. Wally couldn’t look at her. Not after she had let Rudy abuse him. She was so fake, but Wally put up a happy front.

“… Fine,” Wally’s father begrudgingly agreed, but kept on glaring at Barry.

“Doesn’t he have the next week off?” Barry asked with a smile. Maybe he could convince them to let Wally stay the whole next week. The boy stared wide-eyed at what his uncle was saying.

“He does. Barry why are you asking?”

“Maybe he could stay the whole week? Iris really wants to have him over for longer than a weekend… so maybe this is an opportunity!” Mary seemed to contemplate what Barry was saying, but then smiled and nodded.

“Sure. Rudy has to work hard the whole next week so he wouldn’t be at home.” Wally had to bite his lip in order not to say anything, tasting the blood of the wound again. He wouldn’t complain. He was spending a week at Barry’s house, somewhere he felt safe.

“You heard it, kid! Go and pack a few more clothes, then we’re off,” Barry grinned and pat Wally’s shoulder. The boy beamed at him and ran up the stairs, the pain in his ankle making him limp a bit. Rudy grumbled something before going up the stairs, to his own room. He was done with the conversation.


	2. Iridecent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wally is finally at Barry's but a lot of questions still form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you may have noticed I mostly use song titles as chapter titles. It's mostly what inspired me to write it the most.  
> This chapter's song is: Iridecent - Linkin Park

The ride to Barry’s home was unusually silent. Normally Wally talked about things he experienced or how his friends were doing. And how Richard was doing. But right now? He couldn’t find his voice. He knew Barry suspected something, but he tried not to make things too obvious.

“I’m not going to be mad if you don’t tell me anything okay? I just… have a feeling this was not a fight,” Barry started carefully, eyeing Wally for a moment. The boy kept his mouth shut, only looking down on his lap. He would be lying if he said he didn’t feel guilty for keeping this from his uncle.

“It really was a fight. Uncle Barry please believe me.” Wally’s voice was a bit pleading, something he didn’t want. He wasn’t begging for him to believe a story he made up. He was begging him to leave the subject alone and Barry seemed to get the hint, just nodding solemnly. The older man didn’t feel too well to let it slide, but since Wally didn’t want to talk about it, he had to.

 

When Wally entered the house he was immediately pulled into a hug by his aunt Iris. Quietly he returned the hug, burying his face in her shoulder. Somehow he needed the comfort now.

“Oh my dear Wally… Are you alright?” There was the question again. Was he alright? No he wasn’t but he couldn’t say so, because then they would dig deeper.

“Yeah… ‘m good. Only a little bruised from a fight with some guy,” he muttered, liking the closeness and comfort.

“You need some ice to cool your cheek, sweetheart… Sit down on the couch, Barry will bring your things to your room!” Iris let go of him and smiled before walking into the kitchen. Wally just nodded and looked a little forlorn at first before he managed to go to the living room, flopping down on the couch. Barry observed him for a little longer before taking Wally’s bag and taking it up the stairs to the room he always occupied when he was here.

The boy just stared at the floor, thinking about a few things. Should he tell Dick the truth when they saw each other? Or should he keep silent again? Maybe… Dick could help? No, no. Dick was two years younger than him, he shouldn’t be bothered with Wally’s problems. The teenager flinched and whimpered when suddenly something cold was pressed against his swollen cheek. As a reflex he pushed whatever it was away, before recollecting himself. Right, right. He was at Barry’s place and Iris had just pressed a bag of ice against his cheek.

“A-aunt Iris… Sorry. I was lost in thought,” he apologized, not looking at her. He was ashamed of himself for forgetting where he was. Iris looked at him, with a concerned look before pressing a light kiss to his forehead.

“It’s okay darling! I shouldn’t have surprised you,” she soothed him and gave him a light hug once again. Wally was dumbfounded by the affectionate gesture but quickly returned the hug. Yeah. He felt safe here. “You should cool your cheek now. It’s already swollen enough and if you want to look presentable tomorrow you should really cool it!”

“Yeah… tomorrow I’m meeting Dick for the first time in real life,” he whispered softly and grinned, “Thanks for letting me stay the whole week.” Iris nodded, ruffling Wally’s hair.

“I’m happy to have you here and Barry is glad too! You’re always welcome here Wally,” she smiled and gently held the ice pack to his cheek. He took it from her hand and leaned back, a little out of her reach. It was enough affection for the day. Iris understood and pat his shoulder. Wally kept the ice pack on his cheek lost in thought once again. Tomorrow he would meet Richard Grayson-Wayne… he was a bit insecure of himself. What if things went south? What if he can’t show Dick enough? Would he even _like_ him in real life? Not only when they were talking out of each other’s reach? Wally knew that they considered each other as friends… but he couldn’t shake the bitter thoughts.

“Wally. It’s going to be fine!” Barry came into the living room, immediately noticing the expression on his nephew’s face. “He’ll be glad you’re showing him around! CC is a nice place and I’m sure he’ll like it. Also you should stop moping around, he’s a good kid.”

“Uncle Barry you talk like you know him.”

“I’m a good friend of the Big Bad Bat.” Barry chuckled at the nickname he gave Bruce. It was ridiculous but he found that Bruce didn’t mind, but in fact, encouraged it.

“Big Bad Bat?” Wally was confused.

“Bruce Wayne. He’s a good friend of mine and Richard is a good kid, though he doesn’t have many friends.” Barry sighed a little. “He’s slightly complicated.”

“Complicated? I don’t think so. Dick is really cool and he is always friendly to me.” Wally smiled again, thinking back to the conversations they had. A small chuckle escaped him and he suddenly looked so at ease. Barry found it miraculous how his nephew could change moods all of a sudden. It was strange, but yet again he didn’t question it. As long as Wally was feeling better again. Better… that reminded Barry of something.

“Wally what’s up with your ankle?” He asked and noticed how Wally tensed at his words.

“I tripped and messed it up a bit. But I can walk so don’t worry Barry,” he tried to wriggle his way out of the situation. He should deal with his injuries better. Barry shouldn’t have noticed.

“Let’s patch it up okay? Or else you’ll only hurt yourself more,” Barry tried to keep his tone light, but it didn’t help. Things were obviously wrong. So wrong. The man got a first aid kit from the bathroom and returned to the living room, where Wally still sat. Setting the kit down, he kneeled in front of Wally and took his leg, propping it up on his knee. The boy winced a little, but didn’t say anything. Gently Barry wrapped the bandage around the swollen ankle, carefully, gently.

“Barry I’m really okay,” Wally’s voice was soft, yet steady, but neither Barry nor Iris could stop worrying about their nephew. They loved him dearly and wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to him. That’s why Wally tried to be even more careful around them. He didn’t want to worry them more than he already did. Wally’s stomach grumbled and he blushed lightly. He was damn hungry.

“I cooked spaghetti for you,” Iris smiled and Wally beamed at her. God he loved Iris’ cooking. It was always nice to eat with them, the conversations were light and there was no alcohol involved. Unlike his father who… drank without stop. The boy bit his lip before smiling again. He was at Barry’s house. His father wouldn’t come here. He wouldn’t be here.

 

After dinner Wally had retreated to his room and laid on the bed. He didn’t feel tired, but he wanted to be alone for a bit. Iris and Barry treated him like their own child, better than his actual family. The people in his house didn’t feel like family. His father was a monster and his mother was a coward. She never defended him, she just hid, either out of fear or out of shame – it didn’t matter. What mattered was that she just let it happen to her own son. Bitter thoughts filled Wally’s head, most of them concerning his parents but then again… what if he was to blame? Had he ruined their lives? Or… were they just telling him he did. He turned onto his side, wincing as he did so. He forgot about the bruises on his side.

 

In the bathroom he stripped off his shirt, taking a sharp breath. It was like he predicted. His right side sported a black and purple color. All in all he looked horrible. The swelling on his cheek had lessened a bit, but still. It was already forming a bruise. He had a split lip and another bruise on his left arm. Everything ached, but he couldn’t tell anyone about it. This was his problem and he had to solve it on his own.

“I can do this… only three more years then I can move out… then I can start my own life,” he muttered looking at his reflection. His eyes were rather dull, the green wasn’t shining like always, but he found it comforting. People couldn’t read him anyways. He was too good to let people know how he was feeling. Even though he wanted nothing more as for someone to tear down his façade and tell him what he needs to hear. He craved for things he couldn’t have. A functional family. Someone who would tell him that he was their everything. That he was wanted.

There had been enough instances where he felt like giving up. Asking himself what the point of living on was. The scars he had from these thoughts were visible on his wrists. The scarred skin was an indicator of how much he actually suffered without people seeing it. Wally traced the scars. It had been a few month since the last one. He stopped when he got to know Richard. But really… Wally felt pathetic for thinking back to the feeling of dragging something sharp across his skin, because now he craved it again. It was like an addiction. Something he kept coming back to, no matter how much he tried to stay away.

“Come on Wally… don’t think about it,” he muttered, grabbing the edge of the sink to keep his hands occupied. He couldn’t relapse. Not now. Not here. Not when everything was better. He could already feel himself spiraling down again. He wanted nothing more than the feeling at the moment. If he didn’t find anything to distract himself then… In that instant his phone rang and Wally scrambled back into his room, picking up the call.

“Hello?” He asked, unsure of who was on the other end of the line.

“Hey Walls. I hope you haven’t forgotten about tomorrow.” It was Richard and he sounded very smug. Wait. Wally realized that he had never really given Dick his phone number. Weird.

“Nope I haven’t forgotten. Say… how do you even know my number?” He was curious. Not that he minded, but still. He wanted to know. And thanks to that he was distracted from his initial thoughts.

“Maybe I kinda hacked into your skype. Password was easy enough to guess.” Wally could almost hear the smirk in his voice.

“Dude this is so not cool,” he laughed. He didn’t mind that Dick had hacked his profile. He found it funny how smart the kid was- wait. “You didn’t look at any messages or anything right?” Wally panicked a bit. There were some messages from his mother. Things he really hadn’t wanted to let Dick see.

“No, I just looked to see your number and then was back out immediately. I’m not that kind of asshole that reads your messages or anything. I do have some dignity at least.” He could hear the frown in Dick’s voice, but didn’t think anything of it. Wally was just glad he didn’t see anything. “Anyways I just wanted to remind you about tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t bail on you. Thanks for calling.” There was a bit of silence on the other end of the line.

“Are you okay? You sound a bit shaken.” Wally frowned. How did Dick notice? Was his voice shaking so badly? No it didn’t.

“I’m fine! Just excited to see you tomorrow! Gotta go now, bye Dick!” The boy ended the call quickly. Hopefully Dick hadn’t caught on too much.


	3. Sleepwalking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wally and Dick meet up. Dick suspects something is wrong but puts it off as his imagination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The whole chapter is platonic lol. No but seriously, they'll get together later in the story, when plot progressed.  
> This chapter's song: Sleepwalking - Bring Me The Horizon

Wally was waiting at the Central Plaza, looking out for his friend. Dick hadn’t yet arrived, so Wally still had time to think about what he was going to show him. There weren’t that many places, which were worth visiting, so mostly he would just walk around the streets with Dick and then they’d go for a bite to eat. Nothing too exciting, but Wally was looking forward to this nonetheless. When suddenly something jumped onto his back, Wally tried to regain his balance, but toppled over when his swollen ankle couldn’t hold his and the unknown weight.

“Unf…”

“We need to work on your balance, Walls. Also hi.” Wally chuckled a little after this greeting. Yep that was Dick.

“Would you get off me? I still need to show you around!” Dick moved off him and helped him up, catching a glimpse of Wally’s side when the shirt had slipped up.

“Dude. Are you alright?” Dick asked, concerned and seemed to observe him. Wally tried to avoid his gaze and grinned a bit.

“I’m alright why do you ask?”

“Your cheek is swollen.”

“I had a fight with a random dude.”

“Your side is bruised.”

“Like I said: I had a fight with some random dude.” Dick sighed at this. He suspected that Wally was lying, but why would he lie at all? It was a dumb thought, so the younger boy shoved the thoughts into the back of his head. Wally wouldn’t lie to him.

“Dude, that’s _so_ not asterous.” Wally stifled a laugh at that and grinned. Good. He managed to fool Dick. Actually that wasn’t good, but it didn’t matter. Not now at least.

“So where should we go?” He then asked, wanting to know what Dick wanted to see.

“Actually, I’ve been to Central City a few times, I just want to spend time with you. Let’s go to your place!”

“You mean to Uncle Barry’s house. That’s where I’ll be living for the whole next week.” Wally did feel uncomfortable when Dick mentioned ‘his place’. The house he lived in wasn’t his home. It never was. So he weaseled his way out of the situation by telling him that he lived at Barry’s for the time being.

“Uh, yeah sure. Let’s just not stand here,” Dick smiled, “People are staring and I hate to be stared at.” He sensed something was off, but tried not to think too much of it. There was probably nothing to worry about. The injuries Wally had were from a fight with someone and Dick honestly wanted to believe it. But he did catch the nervous undertone in Wally’s voice. It was worrying.

“Dick, you okay?” Wally asked, frowning a little.

“You wouldn’t lie to me right?” The serious expression on Dick’s face made the red head a little nervous. Did he suspect something? Wally hoped not. He didn’t need Dick to pry and find out things he’d rather not tell anyone.

“Never! Dude why do you even think I’d lie to you?” It was a blatant lie. Again, Wally lied about the things he faced constantly. They were his own terrors, he didn’t need to worry other people. He didn’t want others to fuss over him and try to help him. He could do it on his own. People wouldn’t understand. Hell not even Dick would understand. No one could.

“Good, because I’m not very fond of people lying to me,” Dick told him. Wally nodded with a smile. He would hate him. Dick would hate him if he knew. That thought protruded his mind, obscuring all the good thoughts he dared to have. It was bad enough as it was. But now? Things were getting worse. Wally wanted to scream and cry and deny everything that happened. He wanted to escape his thoughts for once.

“Yeah, liars aren’t to be trusted.” Wally wanted to scream even louder at his own sentence. God, he wanted to get away. He wanted to stop thinking. Stop existing. “Okay, so before this gets depressing let’s go to Barry’s!” Dick noticed the change in Wally’s attitude. Something was bothering him. But Dick didn’t voice his suspicions. Wally would tell him if something was wrong. They were friends after all.

 

After half an hour of walking Wally and Dick arrived at Barry’s house and entered. Iris greeted them at the door with a smile. The two boys went up to Wally’s room after the greetings and Dick made himself comfortable on the bed. Wally on the other hand sat down on the office chair in the room, though his posture was a little hunched over. His side was hurting badly again and his ankle was throbbing painfully.

“So… uh… how long will you be staying in CC?” Wally asked, trying to strike up a conversation to avert his attention from the pain.

“Couple of days. Bruce didn’t really specify how long we would be staying, but he also said something of ‘greeting an old friend’. So I’m clueless,” Dick grinned at Wally.

“Seems like your old man is not one of many words huh.”

“Nah, sometimes we go for days without talking, so I’m used to it. How’s your father like?” Wally flinched, barely noticeable. His throat felt dry. His hands were trembling lightly. Dick wouldn’t notice it.

“He’s… great.” _He’s not._ “He works hard and long.” _He doesn’t. He’s a drunkard._ “He’s mostly proud of me.” _He’s yelling at me._ “Dad is sometimes a little strict, but he just wants the best for me.” _He doesn’t. He abuses me. He let out all of his frustration on me._ “We talk a lot.” _We don’t. He yells. I cry._ “He and mom get along great.” _They don’t. She hides. He terrorizes._ “They sometimes fight but that’s normal.” _He hits her. She runs off. He turns to me. And it starts over again._ “It’s an ordinary life, but I like it.” _I want to get out. I want to escape._ “They’re always helping me so I’m happy.” _I want to die._

“Sound like a great thing. Man I envy you a little,” Dick chuckled.

“It’s great.” _You wouldn’t envy me if you knew the truth._

“Dude, you okay?”

“Yeah, why?” _No I’m not._

“You’re shaking.”

“Oh. I’m just a little cold.” _I want to cry._

“Then why are you sitting over there? C’mon over!” Dick pat on the free space on the bed, trying to coax Wally into getting to his side. At first Wally didn’t exactly move, but then he got up and sat down beside Dick. The red head tried to hide his trembling hands. He wasn’t cold. He was panicking inside. He just did his best to conceal it.

Dick didn’t seem to notice or if he did, then he didn’t say anything. He put his hand on Wally’s shoulder and gave it a small squeeze before wrapping him in a blanket.

“Dude I’m gonna look like a burrito when you wrap me up like that,” Wally chuckled and tried to lighten the mood. He was in no condition to say that, but he needed to keep his façade up. Making a fool of himself was one of his methods.

“Burrito or not, you’ll be warm,” Dick cackled and Wally snorted at that. That cackle was one of the creepiest things he had heard, but damn did he like hearing it. It was strangely comforting to hear. Wally wiggled his left hand out of his burrito wrapping so he could at least move around a little. And the blanket had been pressing uncomfortably onto the bruise on his left arm. The two boys sat there in silence. Not knowing what to talk about.

“Hey, Walls.” It was Dick who broke the silence. He had a thoughtful expression on his face as he looked at Wally.

“Mh?”

“Can I take a look at your injuries? Something’s been bothering me.”

“What and you need to look at my injuries to find what’s bothering you?” Wally laughed a little. “Don’t be ridiculous!”

“Man your whole side is bruised, I just want to see if there’s some damage to your ribs or anything.” Dick didn’t seem like he was joking, so Wally complied. He didn’t think that Dick would want to know anything, but he’d humor him. So he unwrapped himself from his burrito and took off his shirt, his side all colorful with purple and black. There were also a few lighter bruises, but they weren’t as bad. Wally flinched when Dick’s cold fingers pushed onto his ribs, but he didn’t make a sound. Sure it was necessary to look if there were broken or cracked ribs. Though having your best friend do that was more than humiliating.

“Dude, I’m fine, there’s really nothing to worry about,” Wally tried to convince him. Dick yet ignored him and pulled back when he examined Wally’s ribs.

“Yeah, I guess I was a bit too concerned. Sorry, Walls.”

“It’s cool, but seriously. You didn’t have to do that. Believe me when I say I’m alright!” Wally laughed again and pulled his shirt back on, then he stretched a little and grinned at Dick. “Did you like seeing me shirtless?” He couldn’t help but joke in this situation or else it would get awkward. Dick groaned and rolled his eyes.

“Walls, don’t go there.” It was meant to sound serious, but Dick couldn’t help it and smirked. “That’s dangerous territory.” Wally snickered and stretched his arms over his head. He felt a little worn out and Dick looked sleep depraved, shown by the yawn following his statement.

“Dude you look tired.”

“It was a long car ride to Central, so it’s just normal,” Dick muttered. In this instance he really looked like a kid, but Wally would never dare to say that aloud. It was some time in the afternoon, so a small nap couldn’t hurt anyone.

“You can take a nap here if you want,” Wally smiled, “I’ll go crash on the couch downstairs.”

“C’mon, Walls. Really? This bed is more comfortable than a couch and I don’t take up much space. We can both just crash here,” Dick chuckled, “Unless you’re embarrassed for some reason.”

“Me? Embarrassed? Heck no!”

“So can I trust you not to murder me with your bony limbs?”

“Says the scrawny kid! Dude, I hope you won’t stab me with your pointy elbows!” The two of them continued bickering for a while longer before deciding it was enough. Without further verbal fights, the boys just laid back on the bed, turning their backs to each other.

“Sleep well, Kid dork,” Dick’s muffled voice teased. Wally knew he wouldn’t be sleeping well. He knew that he’d have nightmares. That he’d see his father in his dreams. And he’d see Dick accusing him, calling him _liar, liar._ Though he couldn’t tell Dick about it. No. This wasn’t for Dick to know.

“Yeah. You too.”


	4. Flares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick is awoken by Wally's whimpering and manages to get him to calm down. Wally hates the way he acts around him, as if he's fragile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I poured a lot of emotion into this. But the thing is; Wally's and my emotional state are the same at the moment, so I've been using it to vent it. (No I'm not abused or anything and I'm happy with my life, but right now everything seems shitty and I can't find my happiness.)  
> Song: Flares - The Script

Dick was awoken by a whimper. Groggily he rubbed his eyes and sat up, looking for the source of the sound. It was quickly found. Wally. He was shaking, whimpering and choked off sobs came from him.

“Wally?” Dick wasn’t sure if he was actually awake or not, but it didn’t seem like it. He was asleep. So he was having a nightmare. The younger boy laid back down and debated on what to do. What could someone do in this situation? Dick was unsure, but he quickly managed to get a resolve, when Wally cried out as if he were in pain. The smaller boy pulled him over, so Wally was facing him, and hugged him closer. He could provide a bit of comfort like that. It was then that Dick noticed that Wally’s shaking didn’t die down when he hugged him.

“Walls, it’s okay. There’s nothing to be afraid of,” Dick muttered, trying to get through to the sleeping Wally. Gently he carded his fingers through the red hair, trying to comfort him like that. Briefly he wondered what Wally was dreaming about, but he somehow didn’t want to know either. The only thing he knew was that this dream was torturing his friend. Dick pulled him as close as he could, providing as much comfort as he could. His mom had done the same when he had nightmares or something similar. It was only natural that he wanted to help Wally out. From day one Dick had figured that something was wrong, but he always put it off as his imagination because Wally always assured him that everything was alright, he just got into fights very frequently. Dick believed him. Wally had no reason to lie to him after all. If something bad happened, Wally would tell him, Dick was sure of that. But yet there was still this uncertainty he felt. Would Wally really tell _him_ of all people if something bad was going on? Wouldn’t he go to Barry or Iris? Those two were close to Wally after all. Or Wally could go to his classmates… No matter what, Dick probably wouldn’t be the first to know if Wally was suffering.

A muffled cry snapped him out of his thoughts and he turned his attention back to Wally. He looked so pained and Dick felt bad for not waking him up. But he wasn’t sure if Wally wanted to deal with this awake. Maybe he would forget the dream if he just… suffered through it.

“Wally you’re not alone okay?” Dick muttered, knowing Wally wouldn’t hear it, but he still needed to say this. It was necessary. Soothingly he rubbed circles on Wally’s back and after a few moments the sobbing and crying died down. Wally’s breathing was back to even now and he seemed a little more relaxed. Dick felt his own eyes drooping, so he just quietly fell back asleep again.

 

Wally awoke when it was already dark out again, not that it mattered. Though he wondered how he was able to sleep that long. He knew he had a nightmare. He remembered it vividly. Every single excruciating detail and it was horrible. Judging by how slightly swollen his eyes were he had been crying in his sleep. Great. Dick would surely make fun of him for that. That reminded Wally and he tried to sit up, but something prevented him from moving. Slowly he started getting aware of his surroundings. First thing he noticed, he was awfully close to Dick. Like “head-buried-in-his-friend’s-neck”-close. Second thing, the same friend was carefully hugging him. Third thing, this friend was still asleep. And Wally would hate to wake him, but the situation was going to be awkward when Dick woke up. The decision was taken from him when Dick stirred awake and yawned.

“Hey Walls.” His voice was a little scratchy, but Wally didn’t mind that. And it didn’t seem like Dick was embarrassed by this situation. “How are you feeling?”

“… Good, what about you?” Wally asked. There was a certain level of caution in his voice. For one to conceal how he really felt and for two because he was unsure what to think of this situation.

“Glad to hear that. I was debating if I should wake you up from that nightmare or not,” Dick muttered, still not letting go of Wally. He felt that if he let go, he would lose Wally as his friend. That if he let go, Wally would start to disappear from his world. Dick certainly didn’t want that. Wally was his best friend and he didn’t want him to slip away.

“Oh… I’m sorry my nightmare woke you up.” The younger boy didn’t like the way Wally’s voice sounded.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Walls.” Dick found himself playing with Wally’s hair without meaning to, so he quickly stopped.

“But I disturbed your sleep.” Wally managed to pull out of Dick’s embrace and got up, which was a terrible mistake. He doubled over when his side began to ache badly and sucked in a sharp breath. It hurt. _It hurt_. Dick was immediately at his side, his hand on Wally’s back and a concerned expression on his face.

“Wally should I call Barry or Iris to take you to a hospital?”

“What?! No! No… Everything but not a hospital.” Wally looked at him, his eyes wide in panic. If they got him to hospital then they would figure it out. They’d know when the doctors would approach them. He couldn’t…

“Walls, calm down.” Dick’s voice was steady and calm. That was when Wally noticed how ragged his own breathing was from the panic. He was freaking out. “Wally, breathe with me okay? Focus on me and just breathe with my rhythm.” Wally tried, he honestly did, but it didn’t work.

“It doesn’t work!”

“Wally, don’t speak, just breathe.” Wally complied, now trying to entirely focus. It took a few minutes, but he managed to get it back under control. He could breathe again. Dick kept his hand on Wally’s back, just in case.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. Walls, whatever is bothering you, you can tell me. Whatever it is, I’ll listen okay?” Dick was getting desperate. Something was obviously wrong, but yet he couldn’t find it in him to talk about the things he suspected. He would observe. He could do that. Wally just wanted to say something when Dick’s phone rang. With a slight sigh he picked up.

“Uh. Hi Alfred.” He listened for a moment. “Yeah, no I’m at Barry Allen’s place. Wally and I came back here and we kinda fell asleep?” It was worded more like a question than anything else. “Is Bruce mad? – No? Good. Yeah…. yeah. No, yeah.”

Wally couldn’t make sense of the conversation, so he didn’t try to follow it. But he knew one thing. Dick was too perceptive and he was suspecting something. And this… this couldn’t happen. He couldn’t let Dick discover what he was hiding. It was more than pathetic and stupid. Covering up for a person that hurt you, was dumb. It was fucking dumb and Wally knew it. But some part of him still wanted to cling onto the illusion that his father might still have a change of heart. Even though he knew it wouldn’t happen. He wanted to believe it. So bad. And he _knew_ this would get him into hospital one day. This hope was going to break him one time. Wally snapped out of his thoughts when Dick tapped his shoulder.

“Do you think it’s a problem if I stay the night? Bruce and Alfred can’t come to fetch me because of some interference, so yeah…”

“That shouldn’t be a problem. Iris has no problem with letting people stay over and Barry knows you, so I’m sure it’s okay.” Dick nodded at that and was back on the phone. Wally took a deep breath and got up, swaying slightly. He needed to be alone for a moment, so he walked over to the bathroom, shutting the door tightly behind himself.

Wally grabbed onto the edge of the sink, staring at himself in the mirror. The only thing he saw was a pathetic person. Bruised and broken. Whiny and stupid. Maybe his father was right all along. Maybe he was dumb and stupid. The person that stared back at him from the mirror was crying. Wally was crying again. He tried to stop himself, but he couldn’t. There was a knock on the door, but he couldn’t answer. He was too busy trying to stop his crying. Breathing was hard as the air only managed to get into his lungs in heaps. He remembered his nightmare. It was the same as every other. His father yelling, screaming at him how dumb he was. Then followed the first hit and it went on. And when he was on the ground, Dick stood above him, disappointment on his face. Calling him a liar and that he hates him. That he’s worthless. Maybe he was. Wally couldn’t really remember the last time he felt like he had any use to someone. The last time he felt like he could do something with confidence.

The door opened slightly revealing Dick, with that look of concern on his face. That stupid look Wally hates. So many people around him wear that expression whenever he’s around. He was tired of it. He didn’t ask for their worry and concern. _He didn’t fucking ask for their pity_.

“Wally are you-”

“I’m fucking alright, why do you always have to ask!?”`He didn’t know where the sudden anger came from and he felt bad for snapping at his friend like that. Wally turned away, muttering a quiet apology. Dick didn’t say anything, he just stood in the doorway, the concerned expression replaced with a neutral one. It was hard to tell for him what Wally was feeling and how much he exactly showed.

“Talk to me.” It was a simple thing. Or well, it should have been. But Wally found himself unable to talk. His tongue was as heavy as lead and his jaw didn’t unclench. He couldn’t. For all the times he was able to joke and talk about things, he couldn’t.

“I know something is wrong.”

“There’s nothing wrong. I just feel a bit under the weather.” It was a weak reply, but he was thankful his voice was steady, “I’m fine, really.” Wally could feel Dick’s stare on his back. He wasn’t buying it one bit.

“Are you really?”

“Yeah. I’m good. Sorry for my outbreak, I didn’t mean to snap at you.” With a smile, faked too good to be seen as true, he turned back.

“It’s fine, Walls. It’s fine.” Wally couldn’t help but notice the worried undertone. Maybe he was being unfair to Dick, hiding like this. But that was what he was best at. Hiding. Lying. Deceiving. Detaching himself from people. He could do it. He just needed to destroy a bit of their friendship. A bit of their trust. And then he could stop Dick from caring too much. Though Wally didn’t want to destroy anything. He hadn’t arrived at the part where he cared far too less about things. He wasn’t there yet. Once he reached the breaking point, he would do it. He would break this friendship. It was a promise to himself.

“So how are we going to arrange the sleeping places?” Wally asked, “I’ll lend you some clothes.”

“We can share the bed again. Not that it matters now,” Dick smirked, sensing that Wally didn’t want to go on about the other topic any further.

“Dude, I can sleep on the sofa,” the redhead muttered, “So I won’t disturb your sleep with a nightmare again.”

“Well, I was actually comfortable with you around at my side.” Dick’s voice was honest, not a hint of a smirk or teasing undertone. Just pure honesty. And it made Wally’s heart ache. This friendship might be harder to break than he thought.

“Point taken. Then we’ll share the bed again.” He laughed. Fake, but yet so convincing.


	5. Are you with me now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wally and Dick have a heartfelt talk where Wally discovers a new side of Dick. Though Dick is very close to discovering what Wally is truly hiding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Are You With Me Now - Sixx:AM

It was early in the next day when Wally and Dick woke up. Wally didn’t want to get up, but he had to, so he forced a smile and Dick smiled back. The redhead shoved the thoughts from the last day back into his mind. He was hiding behind a façade of faked happiness, so Dick wouldn’t dig any deeper about how he felt.

“You hungry?” Wally asked his friend with a yawn, got up and stretched his arms over his head. He felt a bit sore from the lack of sleep and the bruises on his body.

“Yeah, a bit.” Dick caught himself staring at Wally, when the older boy stretched. Even with all the bruises and whatever was tormenting him, Wally was still good-looking, not to say quite pleasant to look at and cuddle. The younger boy had to admit that his friend wasn’t as bony and as he himself. Though he quickly averted his eyes and rubbed over them, managing to get a sleepy look before Wally noticed he had been staring at him.

“Then let’s go and raid the kitchen,” Wally smirked and looked at him. Dick looked so tired, his hair was a mess and he rubbed at his blue eyes. He was a bit cute, not that Wally would ever admit saying so. Great. Why was he thinking that about his best friend? Shaking his head free from these thoughts, he scratched his neck, feeling a little embarrassed for having thoughts like this about his friend.

“Sounds good!” Dick got up and stalked over to Wally, trying to get the stiffness out of his limbs. He still felt a bit sluggish, but Wally didn’t seem to notice.

 

In the kitchen downstairs, Wally was making pancakes and Dick watched. He didn’t know that Wally could cook and it seemed the question was etched onto his face, because Wally chuckled.

“My dad comes home late and my mom isn’t always there to cook, so I’m the one who makes the food,” the redhead explained. It was a lie. He had to make food for himself because neither of his parents found it important to have something ready for him. Or sometimes he had to get up earlier to escape his father’s abuse. He was fairly good at cooking, so he didn’t mind it and pancakes were his specialty. Iris had often praised them and it meant a lot to him. Getting praise for something he made was something he never got from his parents.

“Oh… I see. I can’t cook to save my life and neither can Bruce. That’s why we have our butler, Alfred,” Dick replied with a smile as he watched Wally making pancakes.

“Must be nice to have someone to cook for you. Not that I’m envious or anything,” Wally laughed awkwardly. This conversation wasn’t what he expected it to be.

“Should you ever find yourself in Gotham, then you have to live at my place,” Dick grinned.

“That would be nice...” Wally’s eyes went back to the pancakes. But for him to go to Dick’s place he would have to manage to get out without a week of abuse and that was almost impossible. His father always found a reason to hurt him. Wally jerked back when he absentmindedly burned himself on the pan. He didn’t make a noise, he just looked at his hand, which had a red spot now.

“Dude, you need to cool it off!” Dick exclaimed when he took a closer look at Wally’s hand. Though the taller boy just pulled his hand away.

“It’s not that bad. It doesn’t even hurt.” But he saw how Dick’s eyes widened and he grabbed Wally’s hand again, sliding the sleeve of his shirt up. Scars. So many scars. The redhead tried to pull away again, but Dick kept a firm grasp on his arm.

“What… why?” The younger boy was unable to correctly ask his question. He wanted to know why there were those damn scars. Why his wrist looked like that. Wally yanked his hand away and made the next pancake.

“It was a phase. There was a time where my parents didn’t have much time for me and my friends were assholes,” Wally muttered, not looking at Dick, “It’s been years.”

“This doesn’t look like years, Wally.” Dick pulled up his own sleeve and held out his wrist. There were the same marks, only faded a lot more than Wally’s. “Those are years. Two years.” The redhead knew he had been caught in a lie, but he still had a way out of it. But right now he was shocked by Dick’s own scars.

“… What happened?” Wally asked, keeping his eyes trained on the pan.

“When I was nine my parents died and Bruce adopted me. It was a shitty time, Bruce isn’t good at comforting people, so I was mostly left to deal with it alone.” His voice didn’t let on any hints on how he was feeling. It was monotonous. “I had no one until Bruce and I started talking a lot more. I learned a lot about him, and he about me and we both had stories to share. I stopped when I noticed that he cared, he was just shit at conveying his emotions.” Wally tried to get the lump in his throat away, but it didn’t go well. He wanted to break down now and tell Dick what the case was, but he couldn’t.

“It’s been a few month since the last cut,” Wally whispered, “When I got to know you I stopped. I managed to make it through.” His hands were shaking and he was close to crying. God he wanted to tell Dick everything! But his father would deny it and no one believed Wally anyways. He had lied so often, who would still think he told the truth? “I don’t think I would have made it without you.” Dick comfortingly put his hand on Wally’s shoulder, squeezing it softly. This wasn’t what Dick had expected, but it made him feel like he accomplished something. Like he was one of the most important things to Wally.

“It won’t do any good and I know from experience. Walls, I’m your friend and I’ll be there for you whenever you need me,” Dick assured him. Wally couldn’t say anything, so he just nodded. If his father had seen him now… all the bruises he’d have after showing this weakness. It was a constant reminder that he wasn’t safe at home. The younger boy leaned against his friend, his head on Wally’s shoulder and looking at the pancakes. He was glad that the redhead opened up to him a bit. That way he could maybe keep him safe from further harm. Dick knew that Wally still hadn’t told him everything, but now it didn’t matter. He was just glad that Wally was there.

“You can already go and sit down. I’ll be there in a moment with the pancakes.” Wally’s voice was quiet, almost too soft, but Dick nodded and walked over to the table and planted himself on a seat. He looked at the digital watch on the wall. It was a bit past six in the morning. So they still had time. The younger boy zoned out and was awoken from his daze when Wally put the plate of pancakes on the table. “You okay?” Wally asked. Dick nodded.

“Yeah. I’m good. I’m more concerned about you, though.”

“No I’m good. I was just a bit shaken, but I’m okay.” Dick didn’t buy it, but he let it slide, taking a pancake and eating it.

“You could even rival Alfred with those pancakes!” The smaller boy smiled and made a content hum. A pleasant warmth spread through Wally’s heart and he grinned.

“Thanks man!” The older boy was happy that Dick liked the pancakes. Silence hung over them after that as both ate their breakfast.

After a few minutes Iris joined them with a smile, telling them that Barry was still sound asleep. She was delighted to see that Dick had decided to stay the night and she was almost constantly smiling and she was even happier when she noticed the pancakes Wally made.

“So you can survive by yourself,” she had joked and chuckled.

“Sometimes I have to.” Wally hadn’t meant to sound so serious, but little did she know that her statement was more than true. He had to survive by himself at home. “Just joking!” He laughed.

“Mary called yesterday, she was asking how you were doing. Your father wants you to check in at home today. He said he wanted to talk to you,” Iris continued on. Plates clattered as Wally let his cutlery fall and jumped up. Iris and Dick frowned, the latter slowly getting up and walking over to his friend.

“Walls? You okay?” As if Wally just realized what he had done, he laughed a little, though still he was shaking.

“Yeah, sorry I just remembered something and it made me jump,” he replied, laughing foolishly, “But yeah… I’ll return home today and also get a few more clothes. I kinda packed a little too less.” Dick didn’t miss the way Wally’s voice shook at the word ‘home’.

“Want me to accompany you?” Dick tried to loosen the mood.

“You don’t have to, I can get clothes on my own.” Cold sweat ran down Wally’s back. He couldn’t let Dick run in danger of discovering the truth and potentially get hurt. This wouldn’t be happening. Even if he had to endure more because of that.

“Oh c’mon Wally. I want to see where you live! Maybe you can come with me and Bruce to Gotham during the week or something,” Dick wanted to persuade him, because he sensed that something was off. Wally didn’t remember something. _He was afraid_. Dick knew that look on his face. “Walls, we should talk.” The younger boy motioned his friend to come with him. Maybe he would open up to him if they talked in private. Apologetically he smiled at Iris and she just nodded, which gave Dick the permission to take Wally away.

 

The two boys were upstairs again in Wally’s room. The taller of the two was a shivering mess, sitting on the bed, arms wrapped around himself, just staring off into the void. His father shouldn’t even be home on a Sunday. He should be out with friends, getting drunk and then coming home late at night. But it seemed like he was waiting for… waiting for…

“Walls!” Wally panicked for a moment and flinched away when Dick touched him. “Wally, calm down! It’s just me, Dick!” The older boy’s mind cleared when the name was said and he was immediately back and fully alert.

“Oh god… don’t tell me I freaked out over nothing,” Wally asked, his voice shaking.

“This didn’t look like nothing, Wally. You completely froze for a moment and you didn’t even seem to recognize me!” Dick’s brows were furrowed as he kept his gaze trained on Wally. The suspicion that something was wrong resurfaced and this time it wouldn’t let Dick go. His gut told him that nothing was alright and the boy suspected that Wally had lied to him. Of course Dick didn’t like that suspicion one bit… though it seemed like it could be the truth.

“It’s really nothing! I swear I just had a really bad flashback to something!” Wally’s voice was a little pleading and he was close to crying again. “Please, Dick, believe me!” Dick bit his lip. He _wanted_ to believe him. He honestly wanted to, but it was hard. His suspicions were seemingly close to be discovered to be true.

“Wally, I need you to be honest to me.” Dick was serious now. He looked at Wally with a stern look, not giving in even when Wally looked at him with wide eyes. “Do your bruises really come from a fight?” The redhead just wanted to answer when Dick continued.

“Or are you facing abuse at home?”


	6. Who Knew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wally manages to convince Dick, that he isn't being abused at home. After Dick has to go Wally, Barry and Iris go to Wally's home to convince his parents to let him go to Gotham with Dick. But it doesn't work that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was struggling a little with this chapter, bc I'm so not sure how to move along with the plot, but I'll not give this up owo
> 
> Song: Who Knew - Pink

Wally was sweating, oh god. Dick was on the right track. He was close to knowing, but he shouldn’t. The redhead shouldn’t let him on.

“No. God what are you thinking?! My parents would never abuse me! Dick, it was a fight! Please believe me!” Wally acted exasperate. Of course Dick was right, but the taller boy would never admit to it. It was embarrassing that he covered up for his parents.

“Then describe the guy that did this to you.” It was a simple demand and at any other time Wally would have been at a loss of words, reinforcing Dick’s earlier suspicion. Good thing – or bad, however you wanted to see it – he came prepared.

“Roy Harper. He’s kind of an ass. Taller than me, slightly more muscular and he’s fighting with me a lot. He’s a delinquent and I’m mostly just pissing him off,” Wally told him. Of course not everything was true. Roy was a friend – or at least a close acquaintance. They did beat each other up, playfully. And Roy knew about Wally’s home life, but he wasn’t one to meddle with his business. Roy ignored it and mostly covered up for the bruises, making himself the perpetrator. He was the kind of good guy who had all those bad attributes making him out to be an ass, but he’s not trying to interfere with things. Wally liked that about him. Dick didn’t seem too pleased about it. But he suddenly had his phone in his hand and typed furiously.

“Roy William Harper?” Dick then questioned and looked at Wally with a raised eyebrow. Dick had hacked into some database, wanting to confirm if Wally wasn’t lying.

“Yeah. I know him personally, so he’s real, Dick. Not my imagination or anything, he’s real,” Wally confirmed with a nod. Good thing Roy never minded when Wally used him as an excuse. Dick sighed.

“Sorry. It just puts me on edge to see you panicking and everything…” The younger boy put a hand over his face, before removing it again and looking back at Wally.

“Dude, it’s nothing to worry about it. I’m flattered you care so much. Want a hug?” Wally chuckled, because he was sure that Dick would absolutely refuse a hug and all that. But to his surprise Dick tackled him as gently as possible and wrapped his arms around Wally. The older boy put his hands around his friend and squeezed him a little closer. This was actually pretty comforting, the way Dick had buried his face in Wally’s shoulder and how he tried not to hug him too tight. It was a good feeling and Wally cherished it. The hug calmed him, made him feel safe and forget that he had to return to his house today.

They hugged each other for another few moments, before Wally loosened his grip on Dick, who still didn’t seem like he wanted to get off Wally. The younger boy tightened his grip.

“You want to let go soon?” Wally laughed, his voice shaking with nervousness, but Dick shook his head, keeping his face buried in Wally’s shoulder. He said something, but it was too muffled for the older boy to understand. “Talk a bit clearer, please?”

“I feel like if I let you go, that you’ll just slip away,” he muttered, raising his head a bit, “You’re my best friend, and I’d hate to see you go.”

“Dick, I’ll never go anywhere,” Wally laughed, but he felt bad for him. Dick didn’t seem like this was a joking matter, and the way he kept on hugging him, he seemed to really fear letting him go. “You really don’t have to worry. I’m not leaving.” Even after hearing those words Dick didn’t feel assured. He hated this feeling. Something inside him screamed at him to dig deeper, ask more questions and take care of Wally. But against his gut feeling, Dick let go and sat down beside Wally.

“I lost my parents. I don’t want to lose a friend,” Dick stated, averting his eyes and Wally wanted to smack himself. He should have known that Dick would be afraid of losing someone.

“You won’t lose me. Dude, I’m like weed: hard to kill and I always come back,” Wally tried cheering him up and gave him one of his stupid grins. Somehow it helped Wally to know that he meant so much to someone. To his friends he was replaceable. To his parents he was a disgrace. To Iris and Barry he was just a nephew. But to Dick? To him he was one of the most important people.

“Still. I can’t shake off the feeling that something is wrong… I know you won’t lie to me, not on purpose, but I can’t help but feel like I’m missing something important,” Dick sighed, looking back at his friend.

“There’s nothing wrong. I assure you that you’d be the first person to know when something happens,” Wally promised with a smile. He wouldn’t. No one would know. But a few more lies and Dick would stop searching for what was wrong. That was the only thing Wally wanted at the moment. He wanted to pretend that nothing was wrong. That he wasn’t having a hard time at home. He just wanted to talk himself into believing everything was alright.

“… If you say so.” Dick said nothing more than that. He didn’t believe it, but stopped going on about the topic. It was hard for him. Wally was one of his best friends and yet there was something not alright.

“I mean it. Don’t worry about me, everything’s fine.” The redhead offered his most sincere smile. It was what he had to do. Smile. Deceive. Pretend. This was everything he had to do in order to get through another day. Dick hesitated, but nodded. Just as the younger boy wanted to say something his phone rang. With a sigh he picked up.

“Hey Alfred.” He listened. “What? Already?” A sigh. “Okay. Fine.” A roll of his eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, I know. Okay. See ya.” Ended the call.

“What’s wrong?” Wally asked, slightly confused.

“Alfred’s gonna be here at eight to fetch me,” Dick groaned, “Seems like I can’t accompany you to your house after all.” Wally twitched but forced a smile.

“Dude, it’s okay. It’s not that important anyways. Dad probably just wants to remind me of something,” he lied. His father probably just wanted to threaten him. If he told anyone about the abuse then things would end badly for him.

 

Wally was a bit sad when Dick walked out of the door, towards the car. He really wanted him to stay, but yet he knew that his friend needed to be with his adoptive father too. The redhead sighed and flopped down on the couch.

“Hey kid, you alright?” Barry asked, plopping down on the same couch beside Wally. The older man smiled at his nephew, who just had a thoughtful look on his face.

“Yeah I’m good Uncle B. I only wish Dick could’ve stayed longer,” he answered truthfully, “And I wish dad wouldn’t want to talk to me today. I guess he just can’t let go of me.” The boy forced himself to chuckle. Putting on an act was easy for him now that Dick was gone. Barry was too oblivious to notice and Iris couldn’t because Wally managed to fool her every time. But she also thought well of her brother Rudolph West.

“It’s good to see that the two of you are such good friends,” Barry smiled and wrapped an Arm around Wally’s shoulder, pulling him close, “He asked me if it were okay if you came to Gotham with him during the week.”

“He did?” Wally perked up, looking at Barry with wide eyes.

“Yeah. Iris and I are totally chill with it, so you can go.” Barry winked with a smile. “You just need to tell your parents about it.” Immediately Wally’s face fell. Convincing his parents wouldn’t work. They’d call it off and try to keep him home. They wouldn’t want him to go. He could possibly tell Dick about it and they couldn’t risk it.

“Yeah… Convincing them won’t work,” Wally muttered, “They weren’t too fond of  me being in contact with Dick, so they’re not going to allow me to go to Gotham.”

“Wally we’re going to manage it,” Barry smiled. Wally just let himself melt into the embrace of his uncle now. It was hell having to keep up the façade. Especially when it would crumble later on. “We’ll convince them today. Your father wants to talk to you anyways.” Barry made a face when he spoke about that. He knew something was wrong, but still couldn’t place it.

“Y-yeah…” The teen stuttered out. He hated to be reminded of this, but he damn well knew that no one knew anything. The only one who had come close to finding out was Dick and Wally managed to convince him otherwise. Thank god Roy played along. But Wally remembered the scars that had been on Dick’s wrist. He never knew that his friend had suffered so much loss and it made Wally wonder how he could be so… cheerful now. If Wally got out of his home, he would need extensive therapy and he knew it. The scars on his own wrist were the indication that he needed it. But his parents wouldn’t allow. Wally then smiled and hugged Barry. “You’re the best, Uncle B.”

 

Barry and Iris were talking with his parents down in the kitchen. His father wasn’t drunk, but he still wanted to keep Wally away. So the boy had retreated to his room. He didn’t know what they were talking about, but probably catching up on things and talking about Wally going to Gotham for a few days. The boy sat in his room, he didn’t know what to do. Maybe he could… no. He wouldn’t call Dick. But he’d text him.

`I’m at home. Barry’s talking 2 my dad about Gotham.`

Sounded alright to him. Wally flinched when suddenly there was shouting from the kitchen.

“You are not letting him go to that damn place!” That was his father. Probably talking about Gotham. Great. Wally knew that this wouldn’t work. “I’ll keep him home if I have to!!” The boy was now shaking, getting up and ran into the bathroom, locking himself in. He couldn’t take it. Quickly he looked through the drawers, taking out the pocket knife he kept in there for various reasons. Mostly he took it with him, but last time he had discarded it there. He flipped it open and dragged the blade across his wrist, feeling the sensation of the sharp edge cutting through his skin and deeper. How much he missed this goddamn feeling. And then came the hatred. He hated himself so much for craving this pain. It was dumb and for every word he threw at himself he added another cut, when suddenly his phone vibrated. His hands trembled when he reached into his pocket and got out the phone. Dick had texted him back.

`I hope u can come w/me.`

The boy just stared at his screen. He wanted to go. He wanted to go with him. But he couldn’t… Tears welled in his eyes and slowly they began to fall into his lap.

`sry… dad won’t allow. He’s mad @ the suggestion, Barry’s trying to convince, but dad won’t budge.`

Wally couldn’t press send. He just couldn’t. So he deleted his message and put his phone away. God he was so stupid. Looking at his wrist he felt this wave of guilt and immediately rinsed the cuts. He flinched a little when the water came in contact with the wounds. With a wet towel he cleaned them up and got himself a bandage. He couldn’t slip up again. Dick would notice. Barry would notice. Everything would crumble.

“Pull yourself together, Wally,” he muttered to himself, “You know the plan. No one should find out and you’re doing the stupidest thing. Dick will find out if you keep this up.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments appreciated but not obligatory!


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